Inside the Blackhole

I took this picture today.

At first glance, I was disappointed. The morning glory is too centered in the shot, the camera is more focused on the green in the background that the flower, the flower itself is blurry at the center and around the edges. The morning light is all wrong.

Then it grew on me. Look at the light coming out of the center. The light is ethereal. The five point star is perfect. The lighter lines divide the star in to perfect triangles. The edges of the flower are blurry making them almost 3-d.

Is this small flower what it's like to stand on the inside of a black hole and bask in glorious light? Is this how our angel and spirit guides see each one of us?

A poem is coming from this simple morning glory, and it is nothing like I intended.

This week take something you that you see as less than perfect and find its gifts. Where is its beauty? What does it look like on the inside? What does it look like on the outside? How is it messy? How is it clean?

Standing

Sometimes I ponder
How we both stood on this cliff
You jumped.
and I stood at the edge,
pondering

I stand still
and stand
and stand

and jump

back two steps
reaching back to the hands
waiting behind me.

I'll come back to the edge
to stand
and
to ponder

I'll remember you jumped.
You were graceful and messy.

I See You

The Jumping Bean and I have been at odds for the last several months. I didn't want to play the way JB wanted to play and he acted out. He offered to play in the ways I liked to play, and I still didn't want to play. So he acted out more and it ended with a trashed room, nearly broken windows, and more tears than I care to count. We have big emotions, this child and I, and we are both growing into them.

While we avoided open physical wounds, the long-term emotional hurt potential was deep. I was left with the question: How do we repair the damage and hurt we've done to one another? How to we reconnect?

In the former Transformative Leadership and Social Change program at the Maryland University of Integrative Health, we had a ritual that brought us fully present to each person in the room. It went something like this:

Speaker: Hello, I'm _______.
Class: I/We see you, ________.

We would go around the room in the is manner, calling one another present, whole, and complete.

This was also the secret to reconnecting with JB. I made him a book full of all of his gifts using adjectives that describe him and pictures that proved it. I started out to bring some healing and ease to JB. I didn't expect the profound way that creating this simple chronicle of JB's gifts, would reconnect me to him.

Who are you feeling disconnected from? What can you offer to remind that person and yourself of her gifts?

Do you know what my favorite book is? This one.--JB