Trust

When was the last time to trusted the universe to catch you?

This spring has been rough. Winter keeps coming to cover the daffodils and the daffodils keep raising their yellow heads to meet the sun. It's been like that for many of us.

I wondered if I could trust the spring to come this year. Now that I'm looking at full spring, I remember that the robins and the crows and the cardinals all trusted the spring to come. They sat straight up and sang through every storm. They trusted spring to come and sang it up to us.

Go outside and look around you this week. Where do you see trust?

Trust
When the crow spreads its wings,
he trusts the wind to hold him
When the he reaches his feet,
he trusts the tree to catch him

Put out your wings to fly
Spread your toes to land
Know the wind holds you
and the tree catches you

Driving at Night

As the days get shorter, the child in me longs for the sunlight. Tonight I remembered how much I enjoy driving in the dark. Driving in the dark is when I am closest to my friends and family that died. They seem to wrap me up--buffering me from the unseen dangers in the dark. The dark reminds me of all the things I have accomplished in the day--or my life time and reminds me what I have left to do.

Where was the last time you let the darkness wrap around out. Where does it lead? Is it dangerous? Is it comforting?

Driving at Night

My heart leaps at the feeling of my brother beside me

laughing and laughing. his smile shadowed 

in passing headlights along the rolling hills

outside Bridgeport, Nebraska

I feel the weight of the car shift.

I steady my hand on the wheel

as my Grandmother joins us

I used to be the one in the backseat

Grandpa driving 45 down highway 26.

It meant that we stopped for breakfast

before we hit Henry on our way to Wyoming

Caution has a place.

Fear leads to haste.

Pride is allowed.

Sorrow is precious.

Tonight, my dear friend joins us

The undertones of sunblock

and something sweeter fills my nose

I smile. We've come a long way, and

we aren't finished yet.

She is ever the guide.

I was missing her tonight.

Smiling and crying,

I barrel down a six lane Maryland highway

like the wise moon will stop

waning and waxing and becoming new again.

The car is full. I am wrapped

in the arms of heaven

the on-coming cars are sharp and bright

in this well lit darkness, 

I'm whole and I am home.

Thursday Mornings

Even before I quit my job, I started picking up trash between the Jumping Bean's (JB) school and home. Thursday trash sweep has come to be my ritual and my contribution to the health and well-being of my community and yours.

This morning's sweep was full of fall blessings and the winter silence. For the first time in weeks, I felt a moment of elusive peace. I could breathe.

Where are you finding peace and room to breathe in the descending energy of the fall?

Thursday Mornings

cold crinkle of a bag between my fingers

there is me, the calling of the crows, and the stillness in the wind

dried summer foliage reveals last year's soda bottles,

on-the-go lunches, midnight parties--heard more than seen

An orange flash of cellophane winks at me from the fog-coated grass

my thumb meets its fellows and the dewed plastic

reminds my fingers that it's getting cooler on Thursday mornings

I stand for a moment to let the distant rush

of the morning pass through me

I breathe in the silent wind and let out my last breath,

until the next one comes with no thought of mine

the post-Halloween trail of sugar dreams

peeking out from the leaves. they wait for me.

squirrels run with the last of summer's bounty

afraid I've come for their breakfast. i only take what's left behind

Eager Fall

Chill lay like a blanket
Over the greening grass
and fading trees
The train calls long and slow
Out over the dark
Early morning travelers
fade though the early morning

Around the Clock

The Jumping Bean and I have been playing card games and solving puzzles together. Being seven is a new world for both of us. When I taught JB how to play Around the Clock solitaire (also known as "clock" and "clock patience"), I remembered playing it when I was about his age.

What games do you remember from childhood? What sounds, smells, or sensations do you remember when you played them?

 

 

 

'Round the Clock

 

Twelve o'clock Three

Three o'clock Seven        Seven o'clock Nine

Nine o'clock Queen        Twelve o'clock Six

Six o'clock King

 

A Jack winks on a dirty floor

Dishes in the washpan

Snakes in the outhouse

Grandma's musty comfort

 

Eleven o'clock Ace

One o'clock Four       Four o'clock Five

Five o'clock Ten       Ten o'clock Ace

One o'clock King

 

Cards slick and

Worn dull on the edges

King to the bottom

I want to win.

Ace

 

One o'clock Nine

Nine o'clock

 

Time to go.

Put the cards away.

 

Nine o'clock eight

Eight o'clock two

Two o'clock six

 

I want to win

Almost there

 

Six o'clock king

 

"Now, Julia."

 

Cards scooped up

Spades and diamonds facing

Hearts and puppy dog feet

Or were they teddy bear feet?

 

Dashed and angry

I lost again

 

And discovered

the last ace was missing

there was no winning,

I played anyway