Sunday, August 3, 2014

I See You

The Jumping Bean and I have been at odds for the last several months. I didn't want to play the way JB wanted to play and he acted out. He offered to play in the ways I liked to play, and I still didn't want to play. So he acted out more and it ended with a trashed room, nearly broken windows, and more tears than I care to count. We have big emotions, this child and I, and we are both growing into them.

While we avoided open physical wounds, the long-term emotional hurt potential was deep. I was left with the question: How do we repair the damage and hurt we've done to one another? How to we reconnect?

In the former Transformative Leadership and Social Change program at the Maryland University of Integrative Health, we had a ritual that brought us fully present to each person in the room. It went something like this:

Speaker: Hello, I'm _______.
Class: I/We see you, ________.

We would go around the room in the is manner, calling one another present, whole, and complete.

This was also the secret to reconnecting with JB. I made him a book full of all of his gifts using adjectives that describe him and pictures that proved it. I started out to bring some healing and ease to JB. I didn't expect the profound way that creating this simple chronicle of JB's gifts, would reconnect me to him.

Who are you feeling disconnected from? What can you offer to remind that person and yourself of her gifts?

Do you know what my favorite book is? This one.--JB