Monday, October 31, 2011

Worry at Attention

I was in a leadership workshop over the weekend, and our speaker, Charles Eisenstein, spoke of giving our worries and our hurts and our anger and our bumps and our thorns some loving attention as they asked for it. Today consider that we've been trained to stuff those emotions away as if that part of the human experience is wrong or bad or negative. Consider that we are trained that we need to control our impulses when our bumps and thorns or even our desires speak. So our bumps and thorns grow and grow and grow until they can't be contained any more then they start poking our friends.

So today, make a list worries, hurts, angers as they come up for you--big or small all of these bumps and thorns are important today. Give them some loving attention and see what happens. If you are comfortable sharing your experience, please share.

Worries at Attention*

Stand up straight!
Be proud!
Show yourself!

Come out the deep dark recesses
Of my belly
Of my grey wrinkles
In the scar on my knee
Behind my ear

I see you hiding behind my littlest toe.
Don't be shy. Come out and play today!
All are welcome here

Stand by.

Get in line and file
Even lines
You on the end
Come to the front.
Now cover.

Fear of Failure
Shuffle back.
You're out of line
Not Listening,
You're not listening!
Go to the front and
Bear the guide

Open ranks, march!

I'll give you
A hug
A squeeze
A tickle

We'll cry
We'll sneeze
We'll giggle

Be gone
Fall out

Rest before we reassemble

*Thank you to the U.S Air Force for teaching me how to march and giving me a command voice. I still have two left feet, and I still bounce.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Photosynthesis: Light Change

I was surprised and delighted that tonight's bedtime book of choice was Leaves! Leaves! Leaves! by Nancy Elizabeth Wallace. This week has been the week of the zombie, and the dream of playing in the trees and gathering fall's treasure was a wonderful escape.

The leaves have lost their chlorophyll and the trees are carry their food underground for the winter. Photosynthesis for our trees is on hold. Nancy teaches us that "photosynthesis" is the compound of light and change. Since our trees slumber, we'll spin a little light and change (and sleep) of our own.

Tonight be a tree. What season are you in?

Tree to be
Winter's waiting buds
Spring's gushing green
Summer's sun-lighting leaves
Fall's suspending nibbles

Living illumination
Swilling cloud brew
Vacillating shadow source
Inhaling recessed heart

Terra-firmed anchors

Monday, October 24, 2011

Occupied Zombies

About 10 minutes ago, I was wondering what Occupy Wall Street was about. A year ago I would have been sleeping on the granite and in the middle of the crowd. Now, you'll find me and my pen or keyboard finding some love to put into it. The first question that comes to mind is: What are we willing to give up to change? The second: How did it happen? How did it happen that Wall Street and finance became root of all that is wrong in our world?

Tonight consider, what are you willing to give up to change and how did happen? What will you do to make it happen?

How it happen?  We went to sleep...

Car get. Door shut.
Drive. Fast. Stop.
In line park. Walk. Don't look up.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Elevator. Push #3.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Coffee drink.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Coffee drink.
Pee. Front to back wipe. Soap. Scrub. Wash.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Coffee drink.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Coffee drink.
Lunch. Close your mouth. Wipe your lips.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Water drink.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Water drink.
Pee. Front to back wipe. Soap. Scrub. Wash.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Water drink.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Water drink.
Stairs. Don't trip. Rail hold.
Beeeep. Door hold. Walk. Down look.
Car get. Door shut.
Drive. Slow. Fast. Slow.
Home. Door unlock. Inside go.
Cat feed. Washer start.
Time card. Email. Facebook. Blog.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Water drink.
Zombie type. Mouse click. Water drink
Dryer start. Treadmill run.
Hot shower. Runners' stretch.
PJs. Fridge open. Cardboard bread.
Peanutbetter. Grape jelly. Traingle cut.
Sandwhich eat. Water drink.
Dishes wash. Clothes fold. Square away.
Tea drink. Sleep. Away dream.
Zombie type. Mouse click.
Zombie type. Mouse click.
Zombie type. Mouse click.
Zombie type.
Mouse click.
Zombie mouse.
Click type.
Mouse type.

Go back to sleep.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Lazy Saturday

Today is a lazy Saturday. The sun is shining lighting up the clouds to a hopeful blue with the sky peeping between. The leaves are half changes and a few that eager to let go fly in the breeze like summer's butterflies and birds. To set the mood here's one of my favorite fall tunes* by Cheryl Wheeler When Fall Comes to New England. Cheryl captures the sights, sounds, and crispness in the air today. Please listen and let yourself be here with us.

Let yourself be lazy. Steep in the fall. Take a stroll, a bath, drink a cup of hot apple cider, or lay a blanket in your favorite outdoor spot and stare at the clouds. Lazy Saturdays are an art form. Practice

*Thank you to Mikey for introducing me to an east cost fall through Cheryl Wheeler's music before I'd ever set foot on the east coast.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Moon's Delight

Today was our first Kindergarten field trip. We rode back on the bus snuggled together planning glorious ice cream pancakes with marshmallows and chocolate chips and whipped cream on top. A finger shoots out and voice says, "Mom! I see the moon!" Until this year I never looked up to see the moon's daylight magic. Fortunately, there's a pint-sized teacher reminding me how we are connected even when we aren't together and the Indigo Girls* beautiful song "Share the Moon." And YES, I do cry ever time I hear it!

Tonight or in the morning, go find the moon. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, open your eyes and marvel at the moon. Please remember to look up!

                                                                    You find the moon
                                                Hidden behind contrail
                           Stripes across the sky
      In Sun’s time

                                                                      My child,
No matter our travels
Moon follows us
early in the morning
Found flashing through the trees
In my blind space

I trust your eyes to marvel
You remember to look
When I’m phased and glazed,
My heartbeat rising,
Hands holding too hard
Watching minutes rise on the radio
And subtracting nine
Wondering if we’ll be on time

I trust your eyes to find the moon
My heartbeat and hands just right
As we marvel the magic in the daylit moon

In Sun’s early light
In Noon’s full shadow
In Eve's sinking amber and lavender
You find the moon

On Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays
    In the time before light
                    I look up. I find the moon
                            Hand on the car door
                                       Breath deep in my belly
                                                     Wind puffs smoky wisps away
                                                                        Moon mirrors me to you
*Thank you to Jen & Mark, full of possibility, for the reintroduction to the Indigo Girls

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Stopped at the Procrastination Station--All Aboard!

A few months ago I decided to move on to a new job. Of course, I was asked for an updated resume, and I’ve been procrastinating. I haven't moved on to a new job yet. Writing poetry is more fun. Tonight I’ve decided to make writing a resume fun too. Who said a business consultant's software prowess can’t read like poetry?

May Angelou says:
Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.
So tonight, I challenge you to take on a something you’ve been avoiding. Jump start this avoided thing with something that you love--art your way. If it’s cleaning, put on your favorite CD. If it’s doing the budget or paying bills, write the check in crayon and put bunny stickers on the envelopes. Draw a picture of what life looks like this avoided thing is done. Create your master piece! Go have fun!

Knacked the anomaly
Spinning rainbows less the sun
A spread-sheeted extravaganza
In a fish bone diagram

Racing resources meet
Off-season lemon limits
Softened in bloodied honey
And scattered with cinnamon

Three-armed juggler packing
Bunched bananas and bouncy balls
While balanced one-footed atop
The square root of eighty-1

Exponentials in two to the twelfth
In at least a ba-goo-trillion bits
A byte found is simple
Amidst a smuggled giggle

Control F will find your way
At a clearance price
In seven hours a day
Now go outside. Let's play.

Monday, October 10, 2011

In the Light

When I'm sure I have all the thorny bumpy negatives in life turned into the most beautiful light, love, and empowerment, I'm reminded of how important those thorny bumps are to the love I've created and how easily I can create those thorny bumps myself.

Today I set about obsessing about a particularly bumpy thorny email, my shoulders were snaked up around my ears and  my crown was nearly snapping under the power of my clamped and grinding jaw. So I printed the offending email and with my yellow highlighter I borrowed an poetry exercise from our contemporary Traci and set to turn those words into something we can live right into.  You can find the exercise Traci shared with us in her blog Jots Beyond the Margin. The short of the exercise is:
  • Pick something already written
  • Mark words you like
  • Without adding words, use the words you chose to write a poem.
For my poem, I picked words that were positive and empowering with a few prepositions and pronouns.

Forward Confidence

Come, we'll play at the showing
Agreements talk; walking in time
Movement together in everything
Someone else can guess our rules

The goal: Make hope truly truth
Coverage seen to the right and way up
Differing ways find benefiting choice
Fill together with decisions
Final wholly matter is together
I see you in the future clearing
You and I start to run there
Thanks for forward confidence

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sweet Goodbyes and Happy Hellos

I bought a new treadmill.

It's once in a lifetime event on that list of things I never thought I'd do like
  • Buying a new car
  • Having a natural birth
  • Learning a language that looks nothing like English
  • Being a mother
  • Getting a college degree
  • Seeing an ocean
  • Living in a another country.
All of these moments were full of excitement and sadness.
I'm letting go of a faithful friend. The relationship I've had with my worn Old Girl is something straight out of the Tao Te Ching: "To empty is to become full. To wear out is to be renewed." I thanked her for gift she is: sanity in a place with none. With tears, the shiny new Smooth Operator has taken residence in my Old Girl's place. The Old Girl is folded up and ready for new home.

Tonight consider the Smooth Operator has come into your life and what Old Girl you let go of to make space for him.

Last Ride
No asking
A brisk 10
A fast 20
A    long    slow    50
Slowly today, my friend
I've not much to ask
Only this last ride
Steeped in
Comfortable cheeps
Companionable chirps
Stubborn inclines
Wandering wisdom
Yes, Old Girl, we still fly